Case Study: How a patient advocate helped caregivers convince their mom she needed support
If you have an aging parent, you may have a hard time motivating them to do the things that will keep them well. You wonder, “How can I convince mom she needs support?”
Their doctor tells them to do physical therapy. They go once and quit. You notice they have no food in the fridge and they mention they only had coffee and a donut today. They complain about loneliness. You suggest a class, a friend, a walk, anything that gets them out of the apartment. They turn down every idea.
Meanwhile, you have a job and kids of your own. You cannot stand in the kitchen every day and manage what they eat or whether they move.
One family knew this feeling well.
Their mother, EP, was 84 and living on her own in her apartment. That independence mattered deeply to her, and her children wanted her to keep it. But things were sliding in the wrong direction.
Her doctor had prescribed physical therapy, and she told her family she was going. She was not. Her legs grew weak and she could not walk far. She was not eating real meals, just snacking on whatever was nearby. She had stopped seeing friends and showed little interest in the social ideas her children offered.
Her four adult children were doing their best. All of them worked and had families of their own, and three lived far from EP. When they asked how she was doing, she said she was fine. They could not tell if that was true, and they could not be there every day to find out.
So they brought their worries to Umbra and asked about a patient advocate for elderly parents. We connected them with advocate Dr. Virginia Barrow, MD, a physician with deep experience caring for older clients.
Getting a Clear Picture of Mom’s Health Conditions
Before Dr. Barrow joined, EP had a certified nursing assistant, or CNA, who came three times a week. Dr. Barrow built on that support and added a great deal more.
She started by learning everything she could. She reviewed EP’s medical chart and wrote a clear health summary for the family. For the first time, everyone understood their mom’s conditions and what her doctors had recommended.
Then she made sure nothing fell through the cracks.
Dr. Barrow now schedules and attends medical appointments with EP, and she arranges transportation for each visit.
Before each appointment, she gives EP a printed page with a brief reminder of the condition they are addressing, its history, and a list of the client’s questions which they created prior to the visit. This allows EP to lead the conversation with her treating physicians.
During each visit, Dr Barrow supports the client in her physician discussion, takes notes, asks follow up questions about the care plan, and sets up the next steps for implementation. After each visit, she provides the family with a summary.
The family no longer wonders what is happening with their mother’s health. They know.
Helping EP Build Strength and Stamina to Age in Place
One of EP’s own goals was to feel stronger. She wanted the stamina to move through her day, stay in her home and participate in family get-togethers. The prescribed physical therapy never happened.
So Dr. Barrow found a version she would say yes to. A personal trainer now comes to the apartment twice a week for gentle strength and stamina work. No appointment to get to, no transportation to arrange, no reason to put it off. The trainer is also a master nutrition coach, which means those same visits do double duty.
This is often what changes things. Not a new instruction, but a plan built around what a person will actually do. And a professional in the room who is not her child, so the advice lands as guidance rather than nagging.
Ensuring Elderly Mom Eats Healthy Food Regularly
The trainer brings healthy meals and offers nutrition coaching. Dr. Barrow also encouraged the family to build a schedule for meals on days when the CNA or trainer is not there. Family members now take turns ordering warm meals for their mother. And Dr. Barrow suggested a nice idea for connection: family members join their mother for meals over Zoom, so she is not eating alone.
Making the Apartment Safer for Mom
For EP to stay independent, home had to be safe.
Dr. Barrow recommended an Apple Watch with fall detection, which the family purchased. She showed the client how it works and wrote a simple handout explaining what happens if she falls. She checked the emergency contacts in EP’s phone to be sure all four children would be alerted in the case of a fall. In addition, she collaborated with the family to expand the existing Alexa system, including a drop-in video feature, which one of the children arranged. During visits, Dr. Barrow practices using Alexa with the client to call for help or call one of her children if she needs to reach them urgently.
Medication was another piece. Working with the family, a daughter added an automated pill dispenser that reminds EP when it is time to take her medicine. The CNA keeps it filled and manages pharmacy refills, with Dr. Barrow coordinating whenever needed.
Helping EP Reconnect Socially
EP previously enjoyed an active social life. All the ideas presented by her children did not appeal to her.
Dr. Barrow started small. She helped EP return to a small joy she had let go: her weekly hair appointment. At first, Dr. Barrow went with her. Now, a companion from Seniors Helping Seniors, one of Umbra’s partners, drives her and keeps her company.
That companion also loves to cook and shares meals during their visits. Dr. Barrow set those visits for the days when no one else is scheduled, so EP has support and company on more days of the week.
Then came the moment that showed how far she had come.
The Graduation Trip
EP’s granddaughter was graduating, and the ceremony was far from home. Not long before, traveling that distance would have felt impossible. Dr. Barrow made it happen safely.
She coordinated safe transportation to the airport with a Seniors Helping Seniors companion who brought her directly to check in and made sure she was set with her airport wheelchair assist set up by the family.
When EP returned from the trip, Dr. Barrow again coordinated a Seniors Helping Seniors companion who met her at baggage claim, helped her collect her bags, and made sure she got back to her apartment safely.
Knowing that long walks can be difficult for EP, Dr. Barrow even borrowed a wheelchair from the local senior center lending program and got it to the companion so that they could use it from baggage claim to the car.
She made it to the graduation.
Guarding Against Elder Scams
Dr. Barrow also protects the client online. With permission from EP and family, she reviews unread texts and voicemails during her visits. Together they talk through how to spot a phishing scam and how to delete and block bad messages. When EP became the victim of identity theft, Dr. Barrow helped the family sort it out.
Where Things Stand Now
Things are moving in the right direction. EP is eating real meals again. She is working with a trainer twice a week to rebuild her strength. She attends every medical appointment, and her family finally understands her health. Her home is safer, with fall detection, easy ways to call for help, and medication reminders in place. She sees a friendly companion many days a week, and she is back to small routines that bring her joy.
And she traveled across the country to watch her granddaughter graduate.
Just as important, her children are no longer the ones doing the pushing. They can go back to being her kids. Dr. Barrow emails all four after she sees their mother, holds Zoom family meetings to review progress and set new goals, and stays in touch by text and email in between. A family that once felt shut out and unsure now feels close and informed.
“Dr. Barrow has been extremely helpful, trustworthy, and attentive, just as we would be in attending to all kinds of matters related to our mother’s well-being. She makes sure our mom gets to her appointments and follows through on her doctors’ instructions, and she brings a doctor’s perspective to care issues that come up. We are incredibly grateful. She has helped motivate our mom to adopt healthier lifestyle habits.”
BC, EP’S daughter
How Patient Advocacy Can Help You Take Care of Your Elderly Parents
This is what advocacy and senior care coordination looks like. It is not one big fix. It is many small, thoughtful steps that add up to a fuller, safer, and more connected life.
If you have a parent who is stubborn or is not doing the things that would make them feel better, a patient advocate can help. Sometimes it’s easier coming from a non-family member.
Call us at 332-699-6778 to talk about how we can help your family. Many of our services are covered by Original Medicare insurance.
