What “The Bear” Can Teach Us About Ordering the Right Care
If you’ve watched The Bear, you know the chaos: pans sizzling, orders flying, everyone shouting “Yes, Chef!” while trying not to lose their minds or the sauce. It’s mesmerizing — and exhausting.
Now imagine you as the diner who somehow wandered into that kitchen. That’s what healthcare often feels like. The doctors (our chefs) are brilliant but overworked, the nurses (our waitstaff) keep the place from burning down, and you’re standing there, holding a menu full of jargon, trying to figure out if what you ordered will actually help you heal.
Welcome to the medical menu. And the perfect metaphor to help you understand the maze.
Let’s decode it, without losing our appetite for hope.
The Chefs: Experts in Their Own Recipes
Doctors are the star chefs of medicine. They’ve trained for decades to master their signature dishes: cardiology, rheumatology, neurology, orthopedics. Each one runs their station like a Michelin kitchen — precise, efficient, and laser-focused.
But like Chef Carmy, they work under immense pressure. They don’t have time to explain every ingredient or cross-check how one course pairs with another. If you ask for something “off-menu”—say, how your gut issues relate to your chronic fatigue—you might get a polite shrug or a referral down the hall.
Takeaway: doctors are specialists. They can cook their course beautifully, but they aren’t responsible for the entire meal.
Tip: When you see a specialist, bring a one-page “menu summary” of your key symptoms, diagnoses, and medications so they can serve you the right dish faster.
The Waitstaff: Compassion in Motion
Nurses are the front-of-house heroes. They see you, comfort you, and often notice when something’s off before anyone else. They’re the reason your meal doesn’t end up on the floor.
Still, they work within the house rules. They can’t change the recipes or add ingredients from another kitchen. Their hands are tied by orders, policies, and time limits. But they can make or break the experience for you.
Tip: If a nurse goes above and beyond, let their manager know. A little gratitude in a system that runs on fumes can change the culture one compliment at a time. So care enough to pass on the praise when deserved (and report damages when appropriate).
The Patient Advocate: Your Food Tour Guide Through the Chaos
This is where the metaphor gets juicy and delicious. Now you’ll wonder how you survived without knowing this secret recipe!
A patient advocate isn’t tied to any one kitchen. We’re your neighborhood food-tour guide—the one who knows which cafés actually serve what you need, knows the hidden food trucks, and hideaway spots. Plus we know which chefs collaborate or rage, and where to find the secret menu of treatments that combine traditional and alternative care.
We don’t cook or serve; we curate.
We translate the menu, explain your options, and make sure you’re not being charged for something you didn’t order.
Tip: When you’re overwhelmed, ask an advocate to help you “design your tasting menu.” They can connect your specialists, help coordinate records, and keep the meal balanced—so you’re nourished instead of just full.
Why the Menu Feels So Rigged
Here’s the honest truth: healthcare isn’t a cozy cafe or buzz worthy bistro; it’s a high-volume cafeteria run by billing codes and insurance plans. The menu isn’t about what’s best for you – it’s about what’s reimbursable.
That’s why so many people leave the system feeling dismissed or half-served and still starving. But that’s also why patient advocates exist—to show you that there are more restaurants in town and you can get that gluten free-burger with a side of safe fries that your stomach can handle without allergic reactions.
They help you discover integrative medicine, therapy, nutrition, physical rehabilitation, and other supports that traditional systems often overlook as side items or a la carte choices too.
How to Build Your Own Tasting Menu
- Start with your main course.
Identify your biggest health goal right now—pain relief, diagnosis, or quality of life. Then under that, prioritize and list your top three major complaints into a simple medical summary with your diagnosis, previous surgeries/injuries and medications as a printed document to hand to your doctor. This is your order to the chef and enables the discussion to be more fruitful. - Add complementary sides.
Physical therapy, mindfulness, or nutrition support can enhance the flavor of your care plan. - Season to taste.
Integrate what works for you—not what’s trending or covered. - Send it back if it’s wrong.
If something doesn’t feel right, say so. Or find another chef. You deserve to be heard.
You Deserve a Meal Worth Eating
In The Bear, chaos turns to rhythm only when everyone in the kitchen starts communicating. The same is true in healthcare.
You’re not too complex or too demanding—you’re just hungry for care that fits you. And a patient advocate can help you find it, one well-coordinated course at a time.
So the next time you’re lost in the medical kitchen, remember:
You’re the diner.
You get to choose the meal.
And there’s always someone who knows the menu by heart, ready to guide you to something that finally tastes like healing.
By Christie Cox, BCPA , EDS patient advocate, advisor and author of Holding It All Together When You’re Hypermobile. To learn more, www.journey2joyous.com.